Balancing Life & Work As A Stay-At-Home Mom (post COVID)

Ah,

Remember those days that daycares were open and kids were in school?

They're fond, distant memories.

I miss those days of a quiet, occupied toddler, while I sat at my desk and plugged away at whatever needed to be done that day.

I did still send the baby off to daycare 3 days a week, so those where my get the house in order and make major headway on the current editing projects.

Even then I felt like it was borderline too much and I was always on the verge of a mental breakdown.

But now, well...

Now, I lose my mind by 9am.

It's literally non-stop kicking and screaming and constant fighting from the start to the end of the day.

EVERYTHING is an argument.

EVERYTHING is a fight.

Before, I got migraines by 1pm from being behind the computer all day.

Now, I feel the pain by 10 in the morning from all the chaos.

Making THIS all work, has been the hardest challenge of parenthood we've had to work through.

And now that I'm "allowed" to resume somewhat regular business practices, it's been even harder to adjust the daily to allot for work time as well.

Having to get back on the horse and go full throttle while still having kids home, homeschooling, and all the other life things, is proving to be harder than I expected.

My, well, OUR schedule has to run like clockwork for anything to get done. And most times, it doesn't and nothing gets done like it should.

Which results in me staying up late trying to play catch up.

I am able to get both kids in at the daycare 1 day a week...and I am SO incredibly grateful for that.

The grandparents are a gem in taking the kids whenever I need time for work, grocery runs and the occasional mental breakdown. I honestly don't know how I would survive if they didn't.

But through all of this, I've learned one thing.

Even with all the time schedules and planning. Nothing goes as planned.

And it takes it's toll on me, HARD.

My enneagram is type 1, and it holds true for the best and worst.

I've had to really open up and be honest with myself, my spouse and closest friends.

I have never been so depressed as I have been going through the last 2 months of this shit.

And now I truly understand the importance of having someone to talk to during those dark times in our lives.

So I'll be here in my little corner of the web, making schedules that no one will follow, while the work piles up along with the laundry...which was the same as it used to be, only now there's more of both.

"Stay Strong" is a little cliché...

So I'll say, do what is necessary, not what will ruin your day...

Everyone's shit is different and we NEED to give ourselves the grace to make it through the day without creating bad memories for the ones that rely on us.

Love you all.